In fact, the opposite is true: People who live through abusive relationships do find themselves again. They do find caring and respectful love. If you or a loved one is affected by domestic violence or emotional abuse and need help, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at Join Us.
To be honest, it is one of the scariest things I've had to do. It took me a lot of courage to trust someone again. Even months after we started dating I would have trouble with every disagreement we had. I always wondered if I was being manipulated again, if gaslighting was taking place, if there was some reason some motive he had begins being nice to me. It was difficult to accept compliments without wondering if he was just paving way to suddenly cutting off or picking a fight. Every time I saw anything remotely close to the emotion of anger I used to get a panic attack and often ended up crying for no reason. I faced my fears again every single day.
When I first began my healing journey after escaping my narcissistic and psychopathic ex-husband, I was shocked at how many people had suffered similar abuse. Until you have lived through an abusive relationship it is nearly impossible to understand the magnitude of the problem in the world today. I really dove into all the resources I could to help myself heal. I was under the impression that I could heal from all that I had suffered while I was single, so that if I ever did love again, I would be able to have the healthy relationship that I always wanted. I spent many years single, learning who I was again, reclaiming my power.
Dating itself can be a disaster zone especially in the digital age. Welcome to modern romance, where hookup culture reigns, the ease of dating apps have outstripped traditional courtship rituals and instant gratification is the norm. I always recommend being single for a period of time after going through a trauma like this, because it is likely to affect your intuition, your boundaries and your ability to step back and reevaluate whether this person is right for you. However, I do receive letters from survivors who ask me questions about dating and looking for love after abuse.